Nightshade -- Andrea Cremer

Rating: ✰✰

Calla Tor has always known her destiny: After graduating from the Mountain School, she’ll

be the mate of sexy alpha wolf Ren Laroche and fight with him, side by side, ruling their

pack and guarding sacred sites for the Keepers. But when she violates her masters’ laws by

saving a beautiful human boy out for a hike, Calla begins to question her fate, her existence,

and the very essence of the world she has known. By following her heart, she might lose

everything - including her own life. Is forbidden love worth the ultimate sacrifice?

---

"Forbidden love"...ha...ha...haha...

I...I brought this upon myself. 

I'll admit it. 

I have no one to blame but myself. 

Having just started high school, of course the first thing I would want to do was check out the library, right? And so I did--but there are two problems with this. 

One: There is literally no time to go to the library for me. Five minutes between classes to get to the next class and get your things from a locker and navigate through masses of bodies fueled with hormones and pheromones? Really, school? My bus gets to the school at eight, class starts at eight twenty, and not to mention the "media center" is in a separate building, and, oh yeah, if you step foot outside the main school building you get LOCKED OUT. (The genius of my school and my school district never ceases to amaze.)

Two: The library's selection is horrible. And I don't just mean because this book is in it. I mean, out of all the shelves in the library, all of them except ONE are filled with books that are older than me, my mother, and probably my mother's mother. Blegh! No, thank you. The one shelf that is actually full of books from this century has about five rows of books, and the ones I can actually reach...well...had this in it. 

I don't know what I was thinking, probably that everything else on that one lone shelf looked just about as appetizing as eating my brother's toenails for breakfast. So I picked the book with the spine that leaped out at me, and, unfortunately, this was it. 

I took about two seconds to read the synopsis, then checked it out like "Eh, whatevah!" Because there was nothing to read and I was in the mood for a cliche, horrible book that I knew this would be. 

It started out promising enough, oh yeah. For once the girl was a powerful alpha of a werewolf pack. Oh joy! Forbidden human love interest?! I love humans in YA who aren't just pushovers or who don't turn into supernatural creatures later! (Of which I have yet to discover one...) Even better! And, guy who sounds like a douche just from "sexy alpha wolf"? Wooh, boy...this was going to get bad...

Yeah, I don't know what I was expecting from a book about werewolves, either, but there you go. 

The book starts out with Calla saving this human boy from a bear and of course they have all this ELECTRICITY and CHEMISTRY together just from him sucking on her blood from a cut on her arm...Mmm...so sexy. I can only hope that the man of my dreams (A.K.A. Jesy McKinney) and I will meet in the same way! 

Of course the human boy then goes to her school. Oooh, the plot thickens. And Ren, well, he's actually...not...as bad as I thought he would be at first...(Controlling manipulative jackass? HA. For once...it was the other guy who was supposed to be "sweet.")

Things just go on from there, and honestly, the thin, watered down "plot" is just Calla going "Omg! Who should I choose?! Ren or Shay?! Ren or Shay?!" (Shay being the human boy of course.) With this sort of other plot line having to do with some sacrifice that I really really couldn't care about that just gives Shay and Calla excuses to spend time with each other. 

I just...ugh. 

And considering Shay was not who I expected to be at all (as in, I expected him to be this completely cute and innocent guy who is intelligent and sweet and nice to Calla), I am SO DISAPPOINTED. His character frustrates me on so many levels.

For one, he is a complete and total JACKASS. For example, when Calla tells him about Ren's mother:

"How does Ren know anything about that?" he grumbled.
"Lay off, Shay," I snapped. "His mother was killed by Searchers during an attack that happened on Samhain. That's why he knows."
"Oh. Sorry." He tapped his pen on the table. "Searchers killed Ren's mother?"
"Yeah."
"How old was he?"
"It was on his first birthday," I said.
"Man, that sucks. Though it does explain a lot about him."

What. 

What. 

What?!?!?!

What kind of--I can't even--why would you--WHY?!?!?! Not only are you a stupid whiny jealous idiot who's completely immature, you just...!

I don't know anyone who would even possibly stoop this low. Knowing someone very close to me whose parent died and who is STILL struggling with that loss years and years later...This just pisses me off to NO END.

Why would anyone like this creep?! Why is he portrayed as so cool, innocent, lovable, likable, etc.?! 

LOOK AT ALL THE INTERROBANGS I AM USING TO QUESTION THIS PIECE OF SHIT FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!

And of COURSE the only thing I had liked about him (he was human) gets completely turned over when he gets turned into a werewolf by Calla. I just...urghh...!

He constantly played and manipulated with Calla's feelings to get her to do things with him like kiss him and to be with him. He was completely dismissive and disrespectful of her culture (which I know is screwed up, but what pissed me off was the fact that he knew just about nothing about it and then acted like she was a dumbass for growing up in it and then being unable to believe that what she learned was wrong. Andrea Cremer, you have absolutely NO idea what it's like to grow up in an accepted culture your whole life, do you? It took about two minutes of Shay saying "Open your EYES, Calla!" before she was completely accepting of the fact that her whole life was a lie. What?!). He kept making advances when she TOLD HIM TO STOP and that she was not allowed to be with him! He had no boundaries! None!

And then later he gets praised by the whole dang stinking pack for not being a douche. (Something about a fight that broke out with Ren and stuff, Shay could have told the authorities that Ren was causing trouble, even though he wasn't, and that would've gotten Ren AND Calla both in huge trouble. But he covered for them instead, and his cover-up must have took all of five seconds to think up.) So...basically he gets rewarded for being not a douche when it was just as easy as being a douche. I really don't see the logic in this. He gets high praises sung to him and everyone automatically now likes and trusts him because of that one stupid did.

Well, guess what you still are, Shay?

A DOUCHE!

Shay?

Shay, sweetie? Come here. Come here for a minute.

He has absolutely NO redeeming qualities for me at all throughout the entire course of this 400-page book. He pissed me off SO badly that the only reason I did not put this down and call it a day (and go to therapy to forget about this traumatizing experience) was because of Ren. 

Who actually turned out to be a wonderful, sweet, caring, sensitive guy despite the "bad/playboy" persona. He was one of the only people to actually care for Calla and respect her wishes--he never forced himself on her (unlike Shay, cough) and whenever she said "Stop," guess what he did?

He stopped.

He even stopped seeing/flirting with girls when they were arranged for marriage together, even though the dumb Werewolf Rules dictated he could have as many females as he wanted. And of course what does Calla do to repay him? She kisses Shay behind his back, a lot. 

I loved him and then of course Calla f*cking uses him and screws him over at the end. 

Speaking of Ren and Shay, Shay was constantly being affectionate to Calla in front of Ren on purpose to get him jealous. When it is clear that Calla is already Ren's girlfriend. And when Ren gets mad, of course Shay gets his panties (he does not wear boxers, trust me) all in a knot and accuses him of being an ass. Calla tells him off maybe a few times, but he still gets away with it.

She slaps Shay once in the book out of the hundreds of times she should have (and not even for the reason that he was freaking playing with Ren's emotions, but because because of Shay "everything in her life changed." Seriously, Calla?)

THEN at the end when Shay and Calla must escape from something and everything is so urgent and like "Oh ma gosh life or death here!!!" he has to help Calla undress out of a wedding gown...and you know, he makes out with her and touches her skin everywhere instead of being urgent. Gag me.

This book sucks and I only read it for Ren. It was highly predictable, boring, laughable, silly, etc. I guessed the ending WAY before the middle of the book, I knew that of course Calla was going to choose Shay and "follow her heart" or some shit, and I knew of course Shay was going to be Mary-Sue elevated to werewolfy status. That's not even a spoiler. If I ever have to read the second book of this shitty series, it will only be for my beloved Ren Laroche. 

F*ck you, Seamus Doran. You and your stupid name.

One star for Renier Freaking Laroche, one star for his awesome name. 

Meant to Be -- Lauren Morrill

Rating: ✰✰✰✰✰

It's one thing to fall head over heels into a puddle of hazelnut coffee, and quite another to fall for the—gasp—wrong guy. Straight-A junior Julia may be accident prone, but she's queen of following rules and being prepared. That's why she keeps a pencil sharpener in her purse and a pocket Shakespeare in her, well, pocket. And that's also why she's chosen Mark Bixford, her childhood crush, as her MTB ("meant to be").

But this spring break, Julia's rules are about to get defenestrated (SAT word: to be thrown from a window) when she's partnered with her personal nemesis, class-clown Jason, on a school trip to London. After one wild party, Julia starts receiving romantic texts . . . from an unknown number! Jason promises to help discover the identity of her mysterious new suitor if she agrees to break a few rules along the way. And thus begins a wild goose chase through London, leading Julia closer and closer to the biggest surprise of all: true love.

Because sometimes the things you least expect are the most meant to be.

---

I loved Meant to Be. I cannot stress this enough. I loved loved loved this!

I loved it enough that I procrastinated returning it to the library as soon as I was done reading it, two weeks before it was due (and not just out of sheer laziness). I pretty much kept this to re-read certain favorite parts over and over again (and boy, were there a lot--like, 90% of the book was my favorite). 

Meet Julia, swimmer, geek, hopeless romantic, and searching for her Meant To Be's heart--Meant To Be meaning, predestined, supposed to be together, perfect lovers. In this case, it's Mark Bixford, the boy she's had a crush on since they were neighbors when she was small.

The story takes place on a class trip to London, and besides all the interesting settings (come on, this is London!) that take place all throughout this book, there's also the plot as she searches for this mysterious texter (Chris) who's been sending her messages almost since she arrived in the country.

The main driving point of the plot, you could say, is the search for her MTB--is it Mark? Chris? Jason? And before you get started on the "That is so unrealistic she cannot have three boys pining for her at the same time!" just read the book.

Trust me.

Read. it.

This book is filled with so much squee-worthy moments it will have you rolling around on your bed or the floor or the couch clutching it to your bed and screaming because of the cuteness. (Or, at least, that's what it made me do--repeatedly. Again. And again. And again.)

It is, also, more than just a book to read because there are cute, hot guys in it (you will love Jason so much! Trust me trust me trust me!). It is a book that teaches you that sometimes, love just happens, and sometimes, it's not this perfect fairy-tale story that lasts forever...but that doesn't mean that the love isn't perfect.

I'll give a 10/10 for the story line because it was so cute and kept me interested enough to keep coming back to read it over and over again without ever getting bored.

As for the writing, I cannot tell you how impressed I was by all the show, don't tell going on in this book. The first time Julia says "I love swimming"? I rolled my eyes. Ha! I thought, tossing my head to the side haughtily. Just watch when there is no more mention of swimming at all in this book. Just watch! But she did it. She swam, a lot, and she showed all her geekiness (one of my biggest irks in reading is when a character calls his or herself smart and then doesn't show it at all!) and yes, her intelligence, and weird quirks.

Lauren Morril...thank you for saving my faith in the YA genre. This book is what we need. Not dumb stories of "We were meant to be forever and ever!" and perfectly packaged fairy-tale endings or circumstances, and no promises of forever--and this book will definitely teach you that, and you'll still be happy anyway even without those unrealistic expectations out of a relationship.

The characters were all lovable and wonderful and so well developed I just want to take them all home with me and hug them to death.

I really can't tell you how much I recommend this book, and I don't want to give too much away, so just go on! Go! What are you waiting for?!

Underworld -- Meg Cabot

Rating: ✰✰✰✰

Considering the plot-less demise of a book that was Abandon, I was pleasantly surprised at its sequel. Underworld turned out to be a pretty pleasant read that kept me turning the pages, and not just because I had nothing better to do.

This next book takes off from where the first leaves off, about a day or two after. Pierce wakes up in John's bed...with her cheek pressed to his chest. Which happens to be bare. And streaked with her tears.

(I'm just kidding, of course. Come on, I'm a freaking fourteen-year old girl, that was adorable! If you don't think about the creepy side of it, which of course my adolescent mind doesn't, so yes, it was pretty darn adorable. Shirtless 6'4" hot guys are cute!)

So, Pierce starts freaking out, naturally, until she finds out that John didn't "spend the night with her," he just moved from his place of rest on the couch to the bed to hold and comfort her because she was crying and talking in her sleep about something.

Then she starts talking about how she doesn't really want to spend all of eternity in the Underworld or something, and blah blah, they bicker and insult each other with poor communication but then make up, and to be honest the rest of the scene is pretty much lost on me. Oh, and John makes a bird out of thin air (a mourning dove) and Pierce names it Hope because that's what it will only respond to, although she's reluctant because it's such a cliche name. Pierce eats breakfast because she thinks only pomegranates make you live in the Underworld forever (although I swear that it was any food in the Underworld and pomegranates were just what Persephone happened to eat because they were so rare and special and stuff...Pierce kept insisting that it was only pomegranates because they were the "fruit of the dead," which I found pretty stupid...).

John goes off to "work," escorting departed souls who wait on a beach to their final waiting destination place, and then Pierce goes off to explore the castle.

She meets Henry, a servant boy who collects the trays of food every morning, and when she follows him (despite his insistence that she shouldn't, since she wants to find John desperately because she saw a disturbing video of her cousin Alex on her phone being trapped in a coffin) she ends up in the kitchen where she meets Mr. Graves, Frank, and Mr. Liu. Who these four people are isn't revealed until a little bit later, but they all refer to John as "Captain."

Eventually, she finds John and convinces him to take her back to Isla Huesos one last time so she can say good-bye to her mother and find her cousin Alex, who may or not be in trouble.

Basically, the entire plot of the story is to find Alex and help him out of the danger, although there's a lot of side-things in the way, like visiting Mr. Smith the cemetery sexton and talking with him, an encounter with a Fury in the guise of the groundskeeper (where Pierce manages to actually knock him out, if you're wondering whether she's still a weak heroine), ending up at a festival, etc.

Despite there being no real specific plot in this book either (i.e. a specific goal they try to accomplish the whole time), it's still a nice read that will pass the time when you have nothing else to do. There's more world-building in this installment, including more about John's past (which I find interesting), more about the rules of the Underworld and the Fates, and more about what goes on in Isla Huesos that hardly anyone knows about.

John, in my opinion, gets more likable and his character development is a lot more than in the first book. You get more inside his past and why he does the things he does. His "love" with Pierce gets less creepy and more sweet (although, if you really look at the time frame of this book, still not as believable as I'd like).

Henry, Mr. Graves, Frank, and Mr. Liu were interesting additions to the cast, and they introduced nice new dynamics that I thought made the story more refreshing to read and compelling.

Pierce does get better in this book, mostly because you don't get to see her do stupid things since she doesn't get that many chances to (like in the first book...which I shall not dwell on because that would ruin my mantra of focusing on the positives), she doesn't mention her idiotic past (yay!), and she doesn't overly use phrases like cemetery sexton and Check yourself before you wreck yourself that make you want to bash her head in with a brick. She gets more of a backbone here, and although yeah, she's still pretty submissive when it comes to her and John's love (sort of justified...just read the book and decide for yourself), at least she can handle herself when it comes to dealing with Furies and her messed up family. I liked her a lot more in this book than I did in the first.

There was something at the near-end that bothered me...but talking about it would reveal spoilers. Sigh. You'll probably know what I'm talking about when you get to it, if you ever read it. It has to do with...pomegranates. *shudders* And I think it's pretty stupid. But to each his own.

The ending was a cliff hanger that I found very enjoyable, and not just because I can read the third book whenever I want to. (HA!) I like cliff hanger endings, and this one was pretty good, although you can probably tell where it's going to head in the next book.

Read it? Yes!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Abandon -- Meg Cabot

Rating: ✰✰✰

 

 

 

 

About a week or two ago I bought a book called Underworld by Meg Cabot, since I knew I was supposed to be reading and reviewing a book that was the last in the same trilogy, from Netgalley.

 

Oh boy! I thought. What a pretty cover! I can't wait to start reading!

 

Except, guys, the cover looks like this:

 

 

 

 

And I didn't notice the big, fat The deadly sequel to ABANDON right underneath the author's name the multiple times I ogled over how shiny the blue print on the cover was.

 

 

 

You know those really stupid, annoying books where no matter HOW hard you look you cannot find out what number it is in a series (if you even know it's part of a series) because the jacket and interior designer screwed up somewhere along the thinking process, and then you end up buying the second or third book without knowing?

 

This wasn't even one of them. I have no excuse.

 

So, cursing my stupidity, I promptly got the first book on my Kindle and yadda yadda. I stuck my bookmark in the first page of Underworld (at least they matched) and it stayed like that for days while I trudged through this first book, unable to wait for the day when I could once again hold a physical book in my hands.

 

The minute I finished Abandon a few minutes ago I rushed to get Underworld where it had been gathering dust to finally, finally read it!

 

But then I felt guilty I hadn't written a review for the first book first, and by the time I finished the second I would probably get the plots mixed together.

 

This book wasn't slow, or fast, or boring. It was just okay.

 

It was a pleasant read, I guess, but there isn't much in terms of plot--or at least if there was, I couldn't pick it out among the 300-ish pages of meandering along in Pierce's life (by the way, who names their kid that?!).

 

Pierce and her mom, after her parents' divorce, move from Connecticut to Isla Huesos in Florida, which literally means "Island of Bones." There, her grandmother and her uncle Chris (who's just been released after roughly seventeen or sixteen years in prison, I think) and her cousin Alex are nearby.

 

Errmm...

 

I'm not even sure how to review this. I mean, the whole book is really disjointed, especially Pierce's voice, in the beginning.

 

It was really annoying in the first 80% of the book where Pierce would suddenly start talking about an event that happened who-knows-how-long ago, and then very abruptly start narrating the present again. Considering this book was written in past tense and she used the same tense to recall something from the past (with a few exceptions later on), it was very, very confusing to read.

 

Her thought process and prose is also disjointed. I had a hard time following along with what she was trying to say and it was very dodgy and flighty, going from one subject to the next and then commenting on this topic and then another topic, etc. It confuses me just trying to explain it.

 

She also kept talking about "that incident" and then "the other incident which is not the same as that incident," etc., and it was just confusing the heck out of me. Gosh, girl, what is wrong with your mind?

 

Pierce was also pretty stupid about a lot of things, in ways that make me think she has no idea how to socialize at all. I can't name any examples right now, but really, I think Meg Cabot is trying to give her every excuse under the sun about her weird behaviors being related to her near-death experience. Does everyone who dies and then comes back really this weird? (I don't mean to offend, but really, her behavior is portrayed so weird.) There were also other stupid things she did, like having a soda addiction when her neurologist explicitly told her not to have any caffeine.

 

Good gracious, why would you do that to yourself?

 

John was a weird guy who liked to kidnap Pierce frequently, apparently fell in love with her when she was seven according to her grandma, and very moody and liked to brood a lot. But I still liked him, even though I can see why a lot of people don't. (I can't help it, I'm a sucker for the dark broody types who just want to be loved! But don't worry about my mental health, I realize he can be creepy and I only sort of like him.)

 

Pierce's ex-best friend Hannah Chang was, in my opinion, unnecessarily killed off. It just depressed me and also creeped me out. Not to mention Pierce was a freaking jerk(!!!) to her right after she (Pierce) died for no reason. Really, Pierce?! Are you that much of a screw-up?!

 

 

 

#SPOILERS

 

Mr. Mueller, you freaking creep! What kind of thirty-something guy who is a TEACHER hits on and has an affair with a student who is 16 at most and then breaks up with her and GAH!!! HANNAH YOU STUPID GIRL WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

 

Seriously, what was the point of that?

 

Supposedly, it's this:

 

In this world, "Furies" are any spirits that hate John (ruler of his own underworld) and possess weak-minded humans in order to hurt him.

 

So, they possess people to hurt Pierce, because he loves her so much.

 

And Pierce has this whole "OMG I JUST FIGURED IT OUT!!!!" moment where she's like "I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS SOONER!!!"

 

So the thing is, a Fury possesses Mr. Mueller, a basketball coach, seduces her ex-best friend Hannah, and then dumps her so she'll commit suicide...Really?

 

Uh huh. A Fury did all that just to hurt you, Pierce. So legit. Like really, really so legit.

 

WTF.

 

And more spoilers:

 

They possessed her grandma...who knitted her a scarf with super-duper long tassels...so she could drown in a pool. Because she just knew Pierce would go by her backyard pool wearing that thing...

 

The freaking plot twist, man, if you can even call it that, what the heck? That was the most lame, epic fail I've ever seen in any book. EVER.

 

#END SPOILERS

 

If you avoided the spoilers, basically, the plot points in this book were weak, useless, etc. Essentially, this book really had no plot.

 

The "climax" is super-duper lame, and it'll let you down oh so much.

 

I also had issue with Pierce's mom, who, though she claimed to be an environmentalist did stupid things like leave a fancy artificial waterfall on during all hours of the day, and took huge, super long showers. She was also defensive and rude and immature in general, especially about the divorce and Pierce's father, who actually wasn't that bad of a guy in comparison to her. She was too happy blaming everything about Pierce's death and other things on him (which really, he couldn't have helped that much about Pierce), but the minute he accuses her of things that she very much did, she pins more blame on him and claims everything is his fault and ugh. I hate that cow.

 

Pierce was also extremely ungrateful to her dad. I mean, he helped her settle a seven-figure lawsuit because of something stupid SHE did.

 

SEVEN FIGURES!

 

$1,000,000+!

 

Do you know how much you could do with that money, you ungrateful little *****?!

 

But no, all she gives him is attitude, a happy smile because she is happy (I don't even remember or care about what), and then she even gets rid of all his expensive shoes that have tassels on them because she has some sort of issue with tassels since her teacher wore them. Oh my gosh. She is that messed up. He's really upset, and all she does is talk back and smile.

 

Thinking back, I really do want to throttle this girl, kind deeds to random animals drowning in pools or not.

 

 

You probably shouldn't read this book and I have no idea why I'm giving in three stars, but there you go.

 

Just reviewing it is making my brain go really loopy.

 

 

Oh well. Onto the next book!





Burning -- Elana K. Arnold

Rating: ✰✰

Ben: Having just graduated from high school, Ben is set to leave Gypsum, Nevada. It's good timing since the gypsum mine that is the lifeblood of the area is closing, shutting the whole town down with it. Ben is lucky: he's headed to San Diego, where he's got a track scholarship at the University of California. But his best friends, Pete and Hog Boy, don't have college to look forward to, so to make them happy, Ben goes with them to check out the hot chick parked on the side of Highway 447. 

Lala: She and her Gypsy family earn money by telling fortunes. Some customers choose Tarot cards; others have their palms read. The thousands of people attending the nearby Burning Man festival spend lots of cash--especially as Lala gives uncanny readings. But lately Lala's been questioning whether there might be more to life than her upcoming arranged marriage. And the day she reads Ben's cards is the day that everything changes for her. . . and for him.

---

When I first saw this book on Netgalley, I knew I wanted to read it. Look at that cover and tell me it's not beautiful.

And when I got an e-mail from Netgalley saying I had been accepted to read it, I was ecstatic, because it was my second or third book ever and after all those rejections in the beginning, I felt like I was finally getting somewhere in this weird book-reviewing business.

This book was not what I expected at all.

I was all prepared for it to become my favorite book ever, even topping Auracle on my list of favorites (I'm sorry I ever doubted you Gina Rosati! I'll never do it again!) the moment I opened this book up on my Kindle. Desert setting? Gypsy girl? Small town boy? YES!!!!

Unfortunately, that wasn't really the case. I expected a cute, innocent guy who meets a gypsy girl as she rolls through town and sets up camp near it.

I guess I should've known better in a YA novel.

For those prudes faint of heart, Ben swears a lot, in general. I don't think I ever went to the next page without a swear word jumping out at me. I got used to it quickly, but this just serves as a warning for those wanting to give this to a person under 14--this book is not for kids. (Especially since there's a sex scene. Just saying, but we all knew it was coming.)

---

All right, I've been trying to force this review out for months now because I got this from Netgalley and I really should have turned this in to the publisher a long time ago, but I'm pretty sick of it in general and I can't bring myself to write a really proper review. I checked Netgalley a few days ago and it's not even listed there anymore, so I doubt I can even turn in a review anyway (that'll teach me to hurry up my butt on reading and reviewing books. Eek! So many books I was approved for and never read or reviewed and now I probably won't get approved ever again! Ah!)

But anyway, here's the gist of it:

I thought this book was pretty pointless.

Call me unsophisticated, unclassy, uneducated, whatever. Maybe it's because of my age, or because I'm supposedly narrow-minded, but I just thought the plot was pretty boring.

Basically Lala (I keep reading it as "lala," like from Teletubbies) is in an arranged marriage, she's supposedly unhappy, she meets Ben, they have an affair, her family finds out, disowns her, and she's on her own from there. She sleeps with Ben, stays with him for a day, they go to this festival and she dumps him and she's "free."

Hurray!

I guess it's about being free from bonds?

Or not having to be tied down by men? Family? Obligations? Age-old traditions?

Whatever, I didn't really care about the little I gleamed from this book.

Sorry about the spoilers, but gah, really, there isn't that much to this book that I could see.

Lala and Ben's attraction didn't really make sense to me. It was like "Hot white boy! :O" and "HOT GYPSY GIRL!!!!!" Really, she has known him for LESS than a week and she dumps her entire family and culture for him. Then gives up her virginity for him, which is supposed to be sacred to her.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

If the point of their VERY brief relationship wasn't for the relationship itself and it was for Lala to be "set free" or whatever, then she just used him. Great job Lala.

I liked Lala at first, but then she got all "rebellious" instead of respectful to her gypsy culture, and I don't think Elana K. Arnold wrote about her shame in betraying her family, traditions, and being "dirty" (shameful--very, very shameful in gypsy culture, the worst you can do, I forgot her word for it, but basically, think of mortal sins in Catholic religion multiplied by ten) very well. I mean, geez, at first Lala was sort of remorseful about all the "bad" things she was doing, but after a while (read: two minutes) she just didn't give a s***.

Really.

She really, really didn't.

I kind of lost respect for her after that; her credibility was lost on me.

I liked her prose at first (think of wordy, flowery, purple prose), but after I started disliking her, this just got on my nerves too.

Ben was a jerk to his brother, then didn't even really make it up to him.

Ummm...


Yeah.

I wouldn't recommend this book.

That's about all I have to say.

By the way, the last line in this book was "I was Lala White."

Screwed -- Laurie Plissner

Rating: ✰✰
(2.3) 

Mesmerized by Nick, the cutest guy in school, seventeen-year-old Grace Warren, captain of the math team, gets pregnant the night she loses her virginity. Still hopeful that Nick is madly in love with her, Grace ends up heartbroken. When she tells him about the pregnancy, Nick not only couldn't care less about her, he wonders aloud if the baby is his. Desperate, Grace turns for help to her super-religious, strait-laced parents, and is stunned when they not only insist that she get an abortion, but, when she balks, literally kick her out of the house. Taken in by an elderly neighbor, Grace must face a choice she knows will haunt her for the rest of her life, whatever she decides. Just when Grace is feeling at her lowest, Charlie, her neighbor's great-nephew, shows up, asking her to try again to believe in human nature...and teenage boys.

One careless decision has changed everything for Grace, and it will take all her courage to make it on her own. But, if she can really trust Charlie's unconditional love, despite all hher fears, Grace might learn to trust herself again. She might still have one shot at becoming the woman she hoped to be.

---

This was a fairly fast read, and the review is probably going to go by just as fast. 

I received this in the mail this morning (yay!) when I was lying in bed half-awake and my brother plopped this heavy package down on my chest with an unceremonious "Here" at 10:11. It was a cardboard, fairly big, and sealed-shut envelope, and at first I thought there was some flap I was supposed to open that turned out to be nonexistent. So, summoning whatever strength I possessed at ten in the morning, I ripped open the top of the envelope thing.

And pulled out the book:

*game show music* It was Screwed! Yay!

Anyway, onto the actual review:

From the synopsis, it sounds pretty interesting, right?

It sounds difficult and a touchy subject that will be handled with grace and make you think about teen pregnancy, right?

It sounds like a book that you will finish reading, flipping over the last few pages to the acknowledgments, saying, "Wow," right?

The writing was something that you would not grow fond of. It was told in third person omniscient, and I don't mean just occasional thoughts from other main characters other than Grace--I mean really really omniscient, where you get everyone's thoughts on everything.

Everything.

How I wish I were exaggerating.

To give you an example:

Basically, Grace, pregnant and back at school, is hiding in the bathroom when four girls come in and she hears their conversation about their suspicions that she's pregnant (it's only been a few months and she doesn't show that much yet, until the day the conversation takes place). It's long and boring, so I won't give you the whole thing, but

Awesome Girl B: "If she's got a kid in there, it had to be an immaculate conception. No one but God could be porking Warren."

Awesome Girl C: "Whatever."

Awesome Girl C didn't give a rat's ass what a charter member of the geek squad was up to when she wasn't changing the batteries in her calculator. In her thousand-friend Facebook universe, high school was for looking good, getting hammered, and hooking up, not gossiping about losers who sat in the front of the class with their lips permanently attached to some teacher's ass.

 

You never even see "Awesome Girl C" again for the remainder of the entire book.

 And now itty bitty small useless details like that about EVERY freaking character's life is going to be permanently ingrained into my brain cells!

ARRRGGGGH! I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THESE MINOR CHARACTERS' MADE-UP, SHALLOW, PATHETIC LIVES!

This was the biggest issue I had with the book.

You see, I am very protective of my brain cells, because one, I do not have a very bountiful supply of them, and two, I certainly do not want them being clogged up with useless information when I could be using them for something actually helpful in life that I need, like, say, information to help pass the SATs, or my grandmother's birthday.

I also have pretty good memory, so I remember a lot of things from books, like a lot of minor details.

So of course I get pretty pissed off whenever there's so much going on in a book that I just don't freaking care about but I have to waste up space in my brain's storage to read over anyway.

Every few paragraphs I would get some random person's entire backstory, their opinions on everything, and their reasons for existing and life in general. This took up paragraphs and paragraphs, and sometimes even entire pages. And he/she is never to be seen again!

GAH!

Now I'm stuck with Nick's freaking plans with Amy (which are really gross and not age-appropriate for me, and also took up a whole page to explain--seriously?), Helen's entire life story (which I couldn't care less about, sorry Helen), "Awesome Girl C"'s philosophy on high school...

I'll spare you all the other grueling, minor details.

I just don't understand why Laurie Plissner would do this at all. Why? Why, Miss Plissner, why would you do this to yourself and to readers everywhere?

Was she trying to prove her world was very thoroughly developed? Did she want to show off that she had beautiful character development? Did she want to brag about how three-dimensional all her characters were?

Well it didn't work.

It slowed down and dragged all the progress of the story so much, especially when after a simple sentence like "I like your hat" (just deal with me here, I'm not going to go back looking inside that book), you would get the person who commented on said hat's entire backstory and ALL their reasons for saying that one simple sentence.

I could deal with it the first 80% of the book, but after:

Another thing about the writing was that it was very bland and just...bleh. I'm not even sure why. But despite all this "character depth" on everyone, you never really feel like you're there in the story, you don't get inside Grace's head much, you just...don't care.

The writing just drones on and on and on. It would be a chore to read, except it just never stops or starts, just goes on, so I kept reading and reading. It wasn't compelling, just...I guess I really had nothing better to do than read this for five hours. The prose wasn't terrible, or outstanding, just...

Sigh.

Trust me on this, the writing in here is so freaky in its "boring readability," but not enough that you would want to torture yourself reading it.

Grace as a main character I could stand, but near the end she started annoying me with her weird motives and messing with Charlie's mind, and that weird thing after, well, she gives birth.

I wish the fate of her baby had turned out differently (even though I guess it's for the best), and that's about all I can tell you on that without giving away too much.

The whole plot, if you can call it that, is pretty cliché and predictable, so much that I'm not sure there was even a plot or a point to the 300 pages this book takes up.

Everyone kept calling Grace "special," seriously, for no reason, and after a while without even an infamous explanation for it, that annoyed me, too.

There were two weird scenes between Grace and Charlie I'd rather not tell you about because they're kind of creepy. (Also, Charlie, by the way, is a really bland, "good boy" love interest, who's really stereotypical, except for the fact that he's Jewish. Really, think of "preppy good boy" and you've got Charlie. His motives were sweet, I guess, but his love for Grace wasn't really that believable, especially since they'd only known each other for a little over six months.)
 

I wouldn't recommend this book.
 

You're probably wondering why the heck I gave this book a 2.3 rating then.
 

See, sometimes at the beginning of a few chapters there would be a letter from Grace to her baby. I thought these were really adorable and so sweet, and they showed how much Grace cared about her baby, and I even started looking forward to them after the first one. Sadly, they were stopped almost as soon as they began :'(
 

And the ending was really cliché, but it was a sweet cliché, and I like those. I base a lot of books on how their endings make me feel, so if you can stick in a sappy romantic scene that's pretty much another added star rating from me.

Yep, bottom line, don't read this book unless you really hate yourself.


But thank you so much to the publisher for sending this book to me! (I think. Or maybe I should thank the person who listed the giveaway on Goodreads? I'm really not sure who to thank...) 

The Worst Book I Have Ever Read in My Life

Rating: --✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ x ∞

I don't even want to have this book on my blog in the first place, but since I can't bring myself to write any other reviews and the world needs to know how horrible it is, I'll just say it:

 I would not wipe my dog's ass with this.

Ellie: Manny! You can't choose between your kids!
Manny: He's not my kid. He's not even my dog. If I had a dog, and my dog had a kid, and that dog's kid had a pet, that would be Sid.

I would not even wipe my dog's kid's pet's ass with this.

This book is the biggest waste of paper I've ever seen, even more so than Twilight. There is absolutely no use for this book in this world at all.

NO USE.

It would have been better for it to have never been published at all, or even conceived in thought. Children everywhere weep because this book exists.

Are you happy, Michael Grant? Are you happy your book makes children weep?