Shatter Me -- Taherah Mafi

Rating:✰✰✰✰

Let me start out by saying that I started reading this book expecting to hate it--I'd seen it before on my friend's favorite bookshelf and decided to check it out on Goodreads. I read a few reviews, and from what I saw, this book was awful. 

Like, honest-to-goodness awful. So bad it surpassed Fallen on the badness scale (or at least, I think that's how it went. Oh, and by the way, don't click on that link if you want to make sure you still have a decent amount of brain cells left). So I was bracing myself for the worst. 

Why, then, would I ever read this book?

Because on Tuesday my best friend took a while texting me back because she was reading Unravel Me, which she "really wanted to finish." The title sounded familiar to me and I guessed it was the sequel to Shatter Me, and as it turns out, I was right. When she was done, she said, "But now I have to wait for the freaking third book," and so of course I, being the totally great friend that I am, decided to share in her pain to make it less burdening. 

I told her I'd get the first book to read, and I did, that night. I read the first few lines thinking, "Meh," because I was so braced to hate this book to death and ready to start secretly thinking my friend has awful taste in books. 

But I didn't. 

I've been locked up for 264 days. 

 I have nothing but a small notebook and a broken pen and the numbers in my head to keep me company. 1 window. 4 walls. 144 square feet of space. 26 letters in an alphabet I haven't spoken in 264 days of isolation.

6,336 hours since I've touched another human being.  

Deer Lord, I thought, SPELL OUT YOUR FREAKING NUMBERS! I, personally, cannot stand it when, especially in books, people write out numbers in numerical form instead of "one," "two," "three," etc. It was like, geez, this book already got stupid.

I'd promised my friend I'd read it that night though, so I kept on.

 "You're getting a cellmate roommate," they said to me. 

"We hope you rot to death in this place For good behavior," they said to me.

 "Another psycho just like you No more isolation," they said to me. 

Uh, what the heck. How are you even supposed to read that?

This went on for maybe the first two, three pages on my Kindle, and then when Adam came into the scene/cell where Juliette is kept, I thought about how this was sort of ridiculous and hardly plausible and just why would that happen?

But, whatever. Like, that's my attitude to bits of the book now. Whatever. (Hench the lack of a five-star rating.)

I got used to the numbers after a while, and I actually got to start liking them. I like how they show how dependent Juliette is on numbers to provide her stability, how it shows her mindset and her need for some constant in her life, something solid. How she keeps track of them with an almost OCD-type of mindset to concentrate. Plus, since "1" and "2" are so much less common in books than "one" and "two," it makes you think of not just another word but a numerical value that has significance.

Juliette, to me, was a likable character. She had some stupid moments in the second book (but that's for another time) and possibly in the first that made me like her less, but as of right now I can't remember them. As the story progressed though she was often apologetic of her behavior, and she could recognize it as selfish or stupid. She's shown to be kind, not just through anecdotes from Adam (like how she helped out a girl in her fifth grade class who stood crying because she'd turned in a field trip slip too late and Juliette gave her her seat without even hesitating) where she's repeatedly throughout the years kind to other people even without receiving any acknowledgment or recognition for it, but through an example in the middle part of the book where she has to save a three-year old toddler from a hazard chamber. Her emotions and feelings just showed she cared about other people, and personally, I love heroines that are selfless and caring and I wish I could see more of them.

Adam was cute, and his big-brother-relationship with James was touching, as well as how deeply he cared for Juliette. Their love was buyable, and I liked how he described it as "because you're the only good thing left in the world."

Warner, who was supposed to be the antagonist, wasn't all that scary, admittedly, even when he killed a soldier without even flinching. Sorry, Warner, but you have a really cool name, so I root for you! (Even if you're a sick, sick person who enjoys torturing people and didn't care if a toddler died to help you do research, but my friend tells me you're amazing in the second book so that's softened my opinion of you. Lucky jerk.) To be honest, I spent most of the book wavering between "You are sick, twisted bastard" and "Poor Warner, he's probably got a sucky life and he might actually love Juliette." (Don't worry if you're wondering about my sanity, it mostly went back to the former.)


The plot was filled with plenty of action and romantic scenes, so I was content with both of those aspects of the book. Somehow the pacing seems slow and yet...fast, at the same time. Does that make sense? Probably not, but a lot happens and it somehow seems slow-going at the same time, so this actually works out pretty good for me. There's not a lot of time spent where Juliette does nothing, and things just seem to keep happening around the 70% mark of the book.

Also:

Kenji Kishimoto.

Freaking.

Kenji.

KENJI. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! WHY CAN'T YOU BE REAL?

He's so upbeat, resilient, happy-go-lucky what have you and the best part is he's Japanese AND he's a buff soldier! (Also, he has this cool thing about him that I won't reveal to you, but it's cool. Trust me.)

He's so funny, sarcastic, witty, and his dialogue isn't too forced or overdone. It's just there. It's just him and who he is. Some guys, (read: Jace Wayland from The Mortal Instruments) the authors like to force on you that they're perfect, always oh-so-extremely-witty, and in an attempt to do this, it gets to be annoying because they always have to have something cool to say at inappropriate times. Their dialogue also gets longwinded because of this and in their attempt to be "cool"...Nah. You're just trying too hard.

Kenji, though? Please. Move over, Jace Waylands of the world, because this is how you get to be cool--by not trying.

He's amazing. I love him.

It's so adorable how he's protective of James, too, even though he just met him, and his voice is so refreshing to hear after all this long description from Juliette that makes you wonder if anyone in the world talks normal (they do, and you see that early on, but after reading a while from Juliette's prose you forget a lot).

I heard a complaint on Goodreads about how there's something racist that's mentioned about Kenji, and I just kept waiting to leap on the author and hate her for it because of it, but it never came until near the almost end of the book. And honestly? It wasn't even racist. Just dumb.

Kenji's last name is "Kishimoto," and according to a guy named Winston, it's "hard as hell" to pronounce, so they call him "Moto," which pisses Kenji off. I mean, seriously? Kishimoto is not hard to pronounce, even when it's written down, but especially when you say it out loud. My own last name is harder for me to pronounce (I'm also Asian, by the way). It's just stupid on Winston's part, and anyone else that does that, but not racist. I mean, come on, I bet no one would care if it was a white guy's last name, but as soon as it's a character of different ethnicity everyone gets their underwear all in a knot.

There are some things about the book that may turn readers off, though, and Juliette's prose is one of them. I like it most of the time, and yes, she does use a heck of a lot of metaphors all the time. Most of them are weird and admittedly, produce bad images (etc., the only one I can think of right now: "My stomach drops to my knees").

They can be overlooked though, and the rest of the prose is pretty easy to read for me. There's the run-on sentences that she has when she's panicked, but I find them expressive and effective, not annoying.

There are also some things that are questionable, like Juliette's reaction to Adam considering she hasn't seen a human in 264 days, how she's so mentally sound after being cooped up in solitary confinement for so long, how she regains her sanity so quickly, and how she can talk pretty normally to him for the first time after almost a year, but again, they can be overlooked.

Overall:

This was a great book for me, and I love it. I'm currently reading the sequel right now, and it's living up to the first book. I would recommend it, and I would even go so far as to also buy a physical copy of it :) 

Shiver -- Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: -✰✰✰

Copied from my review on Goodreads

This book sort of made me shiver. 

Okay, so maybe not "shiver" so much as "shudder," because seriously, this may just be the second-worst book I've ever read in my life. (The Worst Book in the World award goes to Gone by Michael Grant. Don't ever read this book. Ever. I wouldn't wish it onto my worst enemy.) 

To understand the enormity of this accomplishment for Shiver, you'd have to understand that I am not, in any way, shape, or form, hard on books. At all. I'll like anything. Seriously. I'll like trashy YA romance novels, I'll like books everyone else says it's cool to hate, I'll like anything that's popular but is apparently, really bad. 

I liked Halo. I liked Hush Hush, I liked Hades, I liked Heaven, I liked Twilight, Beautiful Creatures, Breaking Dawn, City of Bones--you get the gist. (A lot of people say these books are awful, but I liked them, okay?) 

The point is, I'm not harsh on books at all, and I am always, always, looking for things to like about a book. I'm always looking for the redeeming qualities in everything, because that's just who I am, too nice to give a harsh judgement or sound mean, even in the privacy of my own mind, blah blah. I'm even nice with rating. If it's really a one-star book in my opinion, I'll even bump the rating up to two stars. I'm the least observant reader out there, so if a fourteen-year old girl with the attention span of a gnat, the memory of a goldfish, and the observational depth of a slice of bread notices something wrong with a book, YOU BETTER FREAKING BELIEVE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT BOOK! 

I really tried to like this book. I really did, for the sake of one of my best friends whose opinion I highly value and who very, very highly recommended this book. 

But did I?

Let me let Daniel Bryan, the ultimate Yes Guy, to do the talking:






I also don't write reviews for books, period. Ever. Zip. Nadda. But there was just so much going on in this book that I hated that I wrote this anyway (and admittedly I was spurred on by my other friend who said I should start writing reviews). 

Why do I dislike this book so much, you ask? 


A number of reasons. 

1. They all sound the same

And by "they," I mean Sam and Grace. Their voices. Were exactly. Identical. I could've been reading the whole story from Grace's OR Sam's point of view and I wouldn't even know. Without the chapter headings, I would've been totally and completely lost. Heck, even some of the side characters sounded the exact same as they did. 

You know why?

"God." 

"God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God." 

GEEZ. THIS IS WORSE THAN CITY OF BONES! 

Every. Other. Sentence was ended with, had, or began with, "God."

It's not because I'm Catholic, or religious, or even because I hate it when words are repeated too much. I usually don't mind. It's realistic. People say "God" all the time, especially when they don't know what to say, and I don't mind it even if I don't say it. Heck, I won't even mind if a word's repeated continuously to the point where it loses its effect. But come on. Seriously? All the characters said it all the damn time. Even freaking Beck did. Who does this? Why are all their speech patterns and behaviors the same? It was annoying to read, it got on my nerves, and it just further showed how Maggie Stiefvater CANNOT WRITE INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS. 

By the first half of the book, I was ready to physically harm the heck out of whoever next said the Lord's name in vain. Like this:





Besides the above, their voices, how they described things, what they thought, were nearly identical. This does not make sense. Why does Sam sound like a teenage girl when he's practically aman? Others have commented on this before, and I never noticed it (oblivious reader here, dur hur hur), but what I did notice is that he and Grace have pretty much the exact same thoughts on everything. The only exception? Sam liked to add retarded song lyrics randomly when he felt like it. 

The only ones who didn't sound like an exact copy of everyone else were Olivia and Isabel (who were the only ones I liked), and of COURSE they get the least amount of screen time. 

2. The romance was unbelievable

...Not to mention creepy. 

We start off in the book with Grace getting mauled by wolves/Sam's pack, or whatever the heck is going on because even after re-reading it three times I still don't completely get it. (Call me stupid, call me slow, call me lame, but usually, it's the author's fault, not the reader's.) 

And then, a chapter later, we get treated to a summary of how Sam and Grace's wonderful epic awesome relationship advanced. 

Yep. You totally guessed it!

...Sam sometimes wanders by the woods in Grace's backyard, she watches out for him 24/7, and then, like. 

That's it. Literally. Sometimes she feeds him, she always refers to him as my wolf, and at first I'm like, "Okay, well, I get it, she's possessive of the wolf, that's fine. We form attachments to animals all the time."

And then one day in an event that I guess was supposed to be exciting, some dudes with rifles try to hunt the wolves, Sam gets shot and then he's bleeding and he's naked on Grace's porch, and she's like "OMG THIS IS MY WOLF GAIS HE IS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And then, like, literally 15% into the book and literally the FIRST day they meet, Sam's already sleeping in Grace's bed, and she wants him to sleep near her. 

Wow. 

I don't care if you've been stalking this wolf for six years, I don't care that you think he's hot and sooooo cute, YOU JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS A FREAKING WEREWOLF AND YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM!

That is just weird. Okay? It's plain freaky, and no girl in her right mind would ever, ever do that. 



Grace and Sam proceed to display that they have no chemistry at all. Zilch. All the conversations between them seemed like rehearsed lines, mechanical, and just forced. I don't get why Grace and Sam "love" each other. I don't even get why they likeeach other. It wasn't even a gradual thing. One day they're sleeping in bed, the next, they kiss kiss kiss kiss and OMFG WE'RE IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With no reasons whatsoever. Seriously? It was so random when they started declaring their love for each other. You knew it was coming because it's a YA romance, but you also didn't because there was no precedence for them to. You can argue that they've already "known" each other for six years, but that does NOT count because Sam was a freaking WOLF for those six years, and if Grace was developing romantic feelings for him at any time during that point, then Grace, you're a sick, crazy psychotic bitch and I have no desire whatsoever to know you. You're creepy. You're disgusting. Just...just get away. Seriously. You're freaking me out. 

Do you want to know the entire arc of their relationship?

Grace: Sleep with me.
Sam: No.
Grace: SLEEP WITH ME.
Sam: No...
Grace: SLEEP WITH ME IN MY BED RIGHT NOW!!!!
Sam: *sleeps as far away from Grace on the bed as possible*
Grace: FML.

Repeat for a few days. 

*Next Few Days*
Grace: Do you want to have sex?
Sam: No?
Grace: Let's have sex. 
Sam: No...?
Grace: It's so cute how you're unlike any other boy! But I really think we should sleep together.
Sam: No please...
(view spoiler)

3. The book was pointless

This coming from the girl who didn't mind reading Twilight and Halo. 

Confession? I love fluff. If there's fluff, to hell with the plot, because YAY! CUTE ROMANCE SCENES AND CUTE BOYS!

...No. There was like, dumb scenes with Grace and Sam, and I guess it was supposed to be cute, or show character development, but honestly?

It was just boring. 

Sam and Grace, in my mind, were flat cardboard cutouts with flat cardboard lives and flat cardboard interactions. The dialogue was stilted. 

Not "steamy," "cute," or what you'd expect of a YA novel, just...bland. It was random, unbelievable, just...ugh. There was no point whatsoever in this book. There was no plot. There was no suspense. It was just nothing after nothing after MORE NOTHING. 

I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THAT DUMB CANDY SHOP OR THAT (view spoiler) OR (view spoiler).

This book was just weird with a capital W. What did happen gave you a "Wtf just happened/why is this happening" feel. 

Just...WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS BOOK? 

4. The characters sucked

This is pretty much what I gleamed from the main characters by reading this book:

Grace: Hai, I'm Grace, I has the emotional capacity of a doorknob and I is horny for the wolfs!
Sam:: I like guitar chords and inserting random lyrics in to describe my life, also I luvs Grace and I want to stay a virgin wait no I don't wait yes I do WAIT GRACE DON'T LEAVE SLEEP IN BED WITH ME!!!!
Beck: I has square face and I like kidnapping kids to turn them into wolves to make sure my wolfie legacy survives!!!!!

There you have it ladies and gents, our supposed heroes of this supposed story. 

I tried to like Grace. I really did. I was okay with her at first, because hey, she has blonde hair and brown eyes, and I love characters that have blonde hair and brown eyes instead of the usual blonde-and-green-or-blue-eyes combo. I really, really like stoic characters.

But she was just a total bitch. All she cared about was Sam/"her wolf," and she was even angry at a supposed dead guy for dying in the forest because then it brought attention to the wolves there. 

Seriously? 

Seriously?

The dialogue for all these characters was stilted. It all felt artificial and fake, and NO teenagers talk like how they talk. 

5. Sam's nose is weird

Pretty much everyone else has said everything there is to say about the description of this book, but I will say this:

WHAT IS UP WITH SAM'S NOSE?!

Even with freaking descriptions, Stiefvater TELLS, and doesn'tshow.

I mean, Sam has an "interestingly shaped nose that no girl could pull off."

Okay. What does that tell us, though?

You know what, the whole time I was reading the book THIS is what I pictured Sam to look like: 



Enough said. 



The whole book was just...flat. Bland. Boring. It felt like I was reading a cereal box. And not even the fun, color-in-the-rabbit, make-your-own-rap-about-Trix, this-is-how-Kelloggs-came-to-be backs of cereal boxes. I mean the ingredients panel of the cereal box, the ones where they talk about all the preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, and Actually, you know what? I'd rather read that than this book. (Sorry for comparing you to this book, cereal box panels.) 

Don't read this book. Really, don't. It's a waste of time, effort, energy, and money. (This is big, because I don't ever not recommend books because we can all have different opinions on them. This book and Gone are the only books I would EVER recommend you not read, and believe me, it's for a good cause.) You'll cry and children will weep everywhere for all that time you could have spent doing your homework, researching the cure for cancer, and I dunno, playing with your cat. 



Ugh, I'm just...tired of this all. I don't have the energy to write out ALL the faults I had with this book, but hopefully you've been dissuaded from trying to read it. 

To summarize, like my friend said:

"This book is a fart and don't read it."

Entwined -- Heather Dixon

Rating: ✰✰✰✰✰

For centuries, the Keeper has been waiting within the walls of the palace. But now Azalea, eldest of the kingdom's twelve princesses, has found the magic entrance to his hideout. Azalea, who thought her life was unfurling brightly before her, but then lost her mother. And her freedom. She, too, is trapped inside the walls of the palace by the strict rules of Mourning--no color, no sunlight, no suitors, no dancing. What is more, her father won't stop treating her like a child. So the Keeper extends an invitation. each night Azalea and her sisters may dance in his silver forest. He is dashing, and his magnetic eyes are always on Azalea. What the Keeper wants in exchange may cost her everything. But the Keeper should not underestimate Azalea's  temper, or her strength, or her love for her sisters and her kingdom. 

---

My first book review on my blog ever! And what can I say about Entwined?

The cover is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen ever. 

Cover aside:

The book was originally off to a semi-slow start. Azalea's mother, who is sick and on the verge of dying, entrusts Azalea to host her first ball. It's almost Christmas, and everything is well and fine until Fairweller, the Prime Minister, abruptly stops the festivities and coldly escorts everyone out. 

Azalea's mother is dead, a week before she was supposed to give birth to her twelfth daughter, Lily. They manage to save the baby, but not the mother. 

This quickly launches the entire castle into Mourning, which means black dresses, no going out except for "Royal Business" and church, drawn curtains everywhere in the castle, and no dancing, all for a whole year. 

The King, Azalea's father, and whom she and her ten sisters refer to as "Sir," is especially grief-stricken about their mother's death. Naturally, he's strict about Mourning, and he is rigid in enforcing it. 

For Azalea and her sisters though, to whom dancing is like breathing, it's torture not to be able to. Naturally, they don't listen to him and instead, start dancing in secret every night. Azalea finds a spot inside their fireplace

The descriptions were lovely and they painted clear images in my head, and sustained them there, which is hard to do, considering I can hardly ever imagine settings in my head at all. The prose is readable, flows easily and elegantly, and I love it. Heather Dixon seems really fond of onomatopoeia. which, in my opinion, is actually pretty refreshing. I really like that she tries to get you to really hear what's happening around in this world. As is the case with some onomatopoeia, some of them could be confusing at first, but after a few attempts to read them out loud, I got the gist of it.

The characters were all  likable--Lord Bradford, for example, is the perfect storybook gentleman. HE IS SO CUTE I CAN'T EVEN STRESS IT ENOUGH! He does so many things throughout the course of the book that just make you want to squeal and jump up and down in happiness. Him and Azalea are one of the cutest if not the cutest couples in the book (yes, there are more pairings!). All their meetings were so enchanting and charming and riveting, even when they weren't supposed to be. It certainly made the book more enjoyable and fan-girl worthy.

He's not the only romanceable gentleman, though. If I told you now who the others were, it'd just give stuff away, so for now, read the book and find out yourself! It'll be an awesome journey. Trust me.

I liked Azalea, although there was one thing about her that I didn't like: That she was so detached from her father, showed hardly any respect for him or his feelings, and flagrantly disregarded any rules he had for her. Sometimes she would have flashes of insight where she felt a pang of sympathy for the King, but most of the time she just goes back to "What a terrible father" afterwards. However, since (and I hope this doesn't count as a spoiler) she and her sisters DO make up with him in the end, and they even attempt to take Mourning seriously after (about time!), I forgive her, and all the the ties and conflicts and issues I had with the book were resolved, hence the five stars.

She was caring, independent, brave, spirited, and got things done. What more could you want in a heroine?

Since there are twelve sisters in total, you would think they're all hard to keep track of (they were, at first). But soon as you read more and more you realize that there's actually an order to their names, in alphabetical order from eldest to youngest: Azalea, Bramble, Clover, Delphinium, Eve(ning Primrose), etc. I like how they kept with the flower-theme with the names, and it made them more memorable.

Her sisters all had distinct personalities, which is hard to pull off when you've got so many characters like in this book. Although sometimes it seemed like Heather Dixon was trying too hard to fit them all into scenes, most of the time everyone's screen time was just right.

The King's character development, and Azalea's and Lord Bradford's and everyone else's, was done beautifully, in my opinion. I just loved learning more about them and their world, which is one of those historical settings that you don't know what time period it is exactly, but it's reminiscent of olden days with touches of modern times (like the Bartimaeus Trilogy). The family's going through mourning and the grieving process together that inevitably pulls them together whether they know it or not is just great to watch. I love the family values and moments.

The explanations for magic ("Magic is a lot like science, actually"--one of the lines that convinced me to buy this book) were great, and the fantasy touches (like a magical, enchanted tea set and sword) added the right amount of magic to the story and setting.

With all this going on, you'd think it was too much in just one book, but trust me, it's not. The story, setting, and characters all unfold perfectly, and everything together makes this book one of the best I've read all year.

Reading this book was like a never-ending, beautiful journey that I wholly enjoyed taking. It seemed to span on forever and ever, and when it did end, it seemed like there was still something that could keep going on, even though there was a beautiful ending. This is one of those books that distorts time and seems to go on forever but end so quickly at the same time. I just love it.

This is a great book, and I would highly recommend it for people who like fantasy, romance, and historical settings :D

Here's to a New Blog

So, this blog was partly born out of the multiple rejections from publishers I received via Netgalley today when I asked to receive an ARC of a bunch of novels (especially ones that were from a Christian book publisher--that really stung!), and partly spurred on by my friend Amber's urging that I write down actual reviews on books I read instead of just rating them on Goodreads. (But I mean, seriously. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.)

I have no idea whether I'll stick to this or not, or even if what I'm writing right now is comprehensible. I'll probably wake up in the morning, groan, hit my forehead, and say, "Teresa, what the heck were you thinking when you made this? What is wrong with you? Go back to Ellis and just keep trying to buy his hat and wait for summer and Gingie to come!"

But, right now it's 12:29 A.M. and even though I really should sleep, I won't, because I procrastinated my projects in science all day and I need to finish them tonight. Right now, I couldn't really care less, so in my mind I'm going to stick with this, at least for a little while. Because, geez, I already have a lot of other things going on in my life that I keep forgetting to do.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, PUBLISHERS? ARE YOU? ARE YOU?

Here's to a new beginning! How hard can it be to write a book review?

(By the way, happy May 15th!)